when i write i want to write something significant. something that has meaning not just for me but for my readers too. i want someone to actually like my mind, words, and writing. not for them to just say that they do. sometime people just want to be nice and say that they like your work when they really don't. sometime people do not understand what you are going for. things are misinterpreted. is that how a writes life is destined to be? there work being misinterpreted and possibly letting down those who got the wrong interpretation? if i wrote something about angels and demons but someone interpreted it as a break up story and they really liked it, but then later found out its true meaning would they still like it? would they think about it differently? would they like it more or less?
Does an artist ever really want to explain their work to others? or do they just want people to automatically understand what is trying to be said? would that make things too simple if everyone just got the meaning that you were going for? or is the art better when people can see a whole bunch of different meanings? if a piece and stir a lot of different emotional responses then it is a good thing. but what if that is not what the artist was going for? is it a disappointment? if all of this turns out wrong for the artist would they still even want to work? would they still want to continue making art but then having people not understand it or interpret it correctly? or is it just one of those times were as long as people like it i will continue to do it?
i want people to understand my work. but i want them to recognize what i was writing. sure i am open to different interpretations but in the end i want people to think about what i was thinking about. not something else. that is what i do not like about writing or making art. people are going to think what they want to think about the art work. there will be times when people do not understand what you are going for, might not like the work, and might tell you about it. the art world seems to be all about rejection and success. if you are not one then you are the other. what a cruel world. i just want to write something with significants.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
300- so many projects
Right now there are 3 creative writing classes that i am taking. Each of them has a final project and a final portfolio. To put it simply, there is a lot of projects and work to do. One of the projects that i have just finished is for my transgenre class. I get to dress up in my newly made super hero outfit and present the irony of being a hero. The words associated with a hero, bravery, courage, justice, hero, and fearlessness are all going to be bashed. I am going to go into how these words do not mean anything in all reality. I wrote small poems on the outfit and then i am going to read writings of how these words are misrepresented.
There are still the other two classes to go. But after today i will feel that much weight off my shoulders once again. while i wait for the rest of the paint to dry i am doing other homework assignments and i am feeling accomplished for 8:45 in the morning. normally i am not up this early. I guess that is what happens when finals week is on its way. Time to kick it into high gear and get everything else done.
There are still the other two classes to go. But after today i will feel that much weight off my shoulders once again. while i wait for the rest of the paint to dry i am doing other homework assignments and i am feeling accomplished for 8:45 in the morning. normally i am not up this early. I guess that is what happens when finals week is on its way. Time to kick it into high gear and get everything else done.
Saturday, April 5, 2014
300- biting the error
I find these readings a little bit harder to comprehend. So forgive me if I interpreted some of these worlds wrong.
"The stuff of the psyche,' says Herakleitos, 'is a smoke-like substance of finest particles, that give rise to all other things . . . . it is constantly in motion: only movement can know movement." (44)
I feel that what is being said here is that someone cannot know something truly unless they have done it or experienced it. It would be the same with writing. You cannot know what it is like to write without writing something down. It would not be the same if you just noted it in your mind.
"As in lacking subsistence, mistaking violence for justice, separating use and exchange, always the crisis of value." (56)
This quote is riddled with meaning. I tried to break it down to everything that I could understand. First I wanted to think of value. What is to be valued overall? I thought this whole quote was then about delusion. How people delude themselves into thinking somethings are justified. If something is missing, then you are missing the value of what is lost. When you mistake violence for justice you are missing the value of human decisions and life. Then when you do not realize you are using something and only exchanging something of value or worth you are missing vital values that could mean so much more than what is realized.
"Both Alex and Thomas think it is when the sun sets that the moon becomes possible. But there it is: triumphant in the sky, hours before the sun edges to the lip of the horizon." (121)
This quote seems obvious. The moon is always in the sky even when you cannot see it. But there is also the underlying truth that the moon still has its moment in the sky that the sun does not interrupt. Maybe the two boys are referencing this time. They might know that the moon is always there, but they might just think that it is only important when it shines on its own.
"The stuff of the psyche,' says Herakleitos, 'is a smoke-like substance of finest particles, that give rise to all other things . . . . it is constantly in motion: only movement can know movement." (44)
I feel that what is being said here is that someone cannot know something truly unless they have done it or experienced it. It would be the same with writing. You cannot know what it is like to write without writing something down. It would not be the same if you just noted it in your mind.
"As in lacking subsistence, mistaking violence for justice, separating use and exchange, always the crisis of value." (56)
This quote is riddled with meaning. I tried to break it down to everything that I could understand. First I wanted to think of value. What is to be valued overall? I thought this whole quote was then about delusion. How people delude themselves into thinking somethings are justified. If something is missing, then you are missing the value of what is lost. When you mistake violence for justice you are missing the value of human decisions and life. Then when you do not realize you are using something and only exchanging something of value or worth you are missing vital values that could mean so much more than what is realized.
"Both Alex and Thomas think it is when the sun sets that the moon becomes possible. But there it is: triumphant in the sky, hours before the sun edges to the lip of the horizon." (121)
This quote seems obvious. The moon is always in the sky even when you cannot see it. But there is also the underlying truth that the moon still has its moment in the sky that the sun does not interrupt. Maybe the two boys are referencing this time. They might know that the moon is always there, but they might just think that it is only important when it shines on its own.
300- hejinian cont.
(It seems that we had hardly begun and we were already there)
"Hard to distinguish hunger from wanting to eat." (16)
How can we tell if we are hungry? Our body tells us by grumbling. But how often do we eat because of these signs? Most people eat not because they are hungry but because they or bored or find comfort in eating. I like this quote because it is true. Maybe we eat not just to save ourselves from hunger, but also just the ability to eat. There are plenty of people who know hunger more than the rest of the world. They know what hunger is, and they also know what wanting to eat is. They probably do not distinguish the two because they cannot see the difference between eating for hunger or form boredom.
(A name trimmed with colored ribbons)
"This simply means that the imagination is more restless than the body." (18)
There is almost nothing more true in this statement for me right now than anything else. My mind is always restless. Sometimes my body is not moving but my mind is everywhere at once. While you sleep your body becomes paralyzed while you enter and remain in the REM cycle. Yet your mind is dreaming. Jumping from dream to dream. Your mind is never still. Even when you like to think it is. How often do you let your mind wander? It is said that every 10 minutes your mind needs a break. It can stay focused for a while before it needs to break off into a tangent. That can show you how everyones mind can be restless. Obviously more than the body. This was my favorite quote out of all the readings. Mostly because it pertains to me, but also because it is a true statement, and very observant observation.
"Hard to distinguish hunger from wanting to eat." (16)
How can we tell if we are hungry? Our body tells us by grumbling. But how often do we eat because of these signs? Most people eat not because they are hungry but because they or bored or find comfort in eating. I like this quote because it is true. Maybe we eat not just to save ourselves from hunger, but also just the ability to eat. There are plenty of people who know hunger more than the rest of the world. They know what hunger is, and they also know what wanting to eat is. They probably do not distinguish the two because they cannot see the difference between eating for hunger or form boredom.
(A name trimmed with colored ribbons)
"This simply means that the imagination is more restless than the body." (18)
There is almost nothing more true in this statement for me right now than anything else. My mind is always restless. Sometimes my body is not moving but my mind is everywhere at once. While you sleep your body becomes paralyzed while you enter and remain in the REM cycle. Yet your mind is dreaming. Jumping from dream to dream. Your mind is never still. Even when you like to think it is. How often do you let your mind wander? It is said that every 10 minutes your mind needs a break. It can stay focused for a while before it needs to break off into a tangent. That can show you how everyones mind can be restless. Obviously more than the body. This was my favorite quote out of all the readings. Mostly because it pertains to me, but also because it is a true statement, and very observant observation.
300- Hejinian
I found that there was a lot of good quotes in these short poems/ writings. I decided that I would say them and then describe why I liked them so much.
(a pause, a rose, something on paper)
"The overtones are a denser shadow in the room characterized by its habitual readiness, a form of charged waiting, a perpetual attendance, of which I was thinking when I began the paragraph, "So much of childhood is spent in a manner of waiting." (9)
The reason why I loved this quote is because I can identify with it. It is true that childhood is spent in waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting to go to bigger and better places, and waiting to figure out who you are and what your purpose is. Most of the time we are still waiting to figure all of this out. But the childhood stage is mostly where all of this takes place. As children we are asked questions like, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" It seems like already people are making them think about the future. Not only that but the media shows us that growing up is one of the best things in the world. Everything is pushing children to grow up, and until they do, they are just waiting.
(As for we who love to be astonished)
"It is as if one splashed in the water lost by one's tears." (10)
I liked this quote just for the pure beauty of what it is saying. It seems to convey a ton of emotions along with a depressing tone. We do not know for sure if these tears are ones of joy or sorrow but the imagery is still there. It then brings to the mind of one diving into those emotions. Facing whatever made them cry. I liked this quote because it seemed to strike something in me, and because it seems so depressing. There is no other way to put it.
(a pause, a rose, something on paper)
"The overtones are a denser shadow in the room characterized by its habitual readiness, a form of charged waiting, a perpetual attendance, of which I was thinking when I began the paragraph, "So much of childhood is spent in a manner of waiting." (9)
The reason why I loved this quote is because I can identify with it. It is true that childhood is spent in waiting. Waiting to grow up, waiting to go to bigger and better places, and waiting to figure out who you are and what your purpose is. Most of the time we are still waiting to figure all of this out. But the childhood stage is mostly where all of this takes place. As children we are asked questions like, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" It seems like already people are making them think about the future. Not only that but the media shows us that growing up is one of the best things in the world. Everything is pushing children to grow up, and until they do, they are just waiting.
(As for we who love to be astonished)
"It is as if one splashed in the water lost by one's tears." (10)
I liked this quote just for the pure beauty of what it is saying. It seems to convey a ton of emotions along with a depressing tone. We do not know for sure if these tears are ones of joy or sorrow but the imagery is still there. It then brings to the mind of one diving into those emotions. Facing whatever made them cry. I liked this quote because it seemed to strike something in me, and because it seems so depressing. There is no other way to put it.
300- event factory
Before I started reading the Event Factory, I read the intro. It stated that the color yellow was used frequently throughout the story. I decided that whenever I would come across the word yellow I would make a tally on how often it did show up. The answer was 21 times. During these times I would try and figure out what this symbolizes. Normally, when I think of the color yellow I think of something warm like the sun. However, in the story it was more something like a fog or hazy. It would describe the air. It was something like pollution. At least that was my first thought after reading most of the story.
Something else I wanted to pay attention to was the use of the word hello, or variations of it. I did not count how many times it was used, but I noticed that it had to have some significance. While reading all of theses introductions, I wondered why they seemed so important. Sometimes these people would just be in one scene and that was all. I figured then it was just part of the culture that was in this area. But, I also noticed that in some instances there was more to the word. "Hello, in case it was also time to fuck"(23). I found it weird that saying hello also led to random kissing sessions or sexual acts.
There were some things that I was quite confused about while I was reading. First, I was not sure if the main character was a boy or a girl. It does not really matter which it was but I wanted to be able to clearly identify the character. I later found out that it was a girl. Another mystery as while I read was how she even got to this place. Also, why she continued to stay when she knows that it was time to leave. The need to find out what was wrong with this place kept her there but in all reality the place was fine. I wondered why the author decided to make this area fine after describing it like it was dying or breaking. It seemed more logical to keep the idea that the area was flawed. Yet, there was people like Simon who were willing to stay there because they felt like home.
Over all I felt like this story was a mystery. I got into it thinking that it would clear up eventually. It solved some problems but I felt like there was a lot I was still missing. 1. What was that place? 2. Is it really coming alive instead of dying? 3. What is she going to do now that she knows this place is alive? There is still so much to be answered for in my opinion.
300- just fall asleep
How often do you wish to sleep but simply can't? To the point where you are up all night, up all morning, and before you know it, it is night again. Yet, sleep still does not come. Your body needs it but your mind will simply not let it happen. My mind races and my body soon follows suit. I bounce, I think, and before I know it I am up moving around against my own will. Why can't I just sleep? My mind needs a rest but it does not seem to want it. I wonder then, what it does want. There seems to be so much on my mind that I cannot even sort it all out. It jumps from one thought to another. I wonder why I cannot concentrate on my own thoughts.
I just wish to sleep. Maybe then my mind will clear and I can start to think straight. Maybe I am just to anxious. Maybe I just feel like there is not enough time in the day so I have to cut back on the things that my mind thinks I do not need. As I type other thoughts come across my mind. It is hard to stay focused. My eyes are dropping and but my fingers are flying over the key bored. Soon I will try to just fall a sleep.
I just wish to sleep. Maybe then my mind will clear and I can start to think straight. Maybe I am just to anxious. Maybe I just feel like there is not enough time in the day so I have to cut back on the things that my mind thinks I do not need. As I type other thoughts come across my mind. It is hard to stay focused. My eyes are dropping and but my fingers are flying over the key bored. Soon I will try to just fall a sleep.
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